A Morning of Folly - 52 WoCC Week 7

Sunday mornings were always a toughie she thought to herself as she lay in bed. Saturdays consisted of the interhouse quidditch match and usually much late night celebrations or grumblings depending on who won. For some unknown reason the breakfast still began at 6am when everyone had had a late night...
Ok, maybe not everyone, the ickle firsties were always in bed before 9.
So there she lay in bed contemplating getting up for breakfast... the 6th and 7th years wouldn't be up by now, their heads would be too heavy after all the butterbeers they'd snuck back from Hogmeade

ok, that decided it, she pulled her lethargic form out of bed and with a huge stretch she looked around blearily for something to wear..

She loosened her hair from it's bun and let the long waves tumble down over her red sweater and pulled on yesterdays overalls, tucking them inside the jumper. Shoes... shoes....

Incidentally Folly is one of the colours for my wedding, goes perfectly with bright green!

With a slight laugh she slipped on some ridiculously high pink shoes that she had brought with her for partys and such like before deciding that she would get docked a good few house points with these shoes on and made a mental note to send them back to mother with the next owl she received.

Hearing the clock chime 6 she pulled on some heavy boots, suitable for the cold weather and her cloak and ran full pelt down the staircase, nearly losing a foot in one of the steps that always disappeared every time she was on her way down stairs...

It took her a moment or two to realise that none of the hall or food was in focus and with a grumble accio'd her glasses to her... damn being sleepy!

Credits:
Skin (pic 1 & 2) by Adore and Abhor @ Back2Black event
Long Jumper @ villena (Zombie Popcorn Hunt 0L)
Hair (pic 1 &2) @ tiny bird (closed)
Slippers @ Footworks (old freebie)

Skin (pic 3&4) @ Tuli
Hair (pics 3&4) @ Wasabi Pills
Jumper @ e! Eclectic Apparel (50L Valentines Gift!)
Jeans @ paper.doll (as yesterday)
Pink Shoes @ N-Core (womenstuff hunt 0L)
Cowboy Boots @ Duh! (40L I think)

Saff/B xx

Going Back to Black

Usually I'll write a cutesy little story to go along with my blog post but the Back2Black event begins tomorrow (11th) and I'm blogging 22769's item (is a full outfit but I loved the jumper most) which will be at the event.

Back2Black is an event to highlight mental health illnesses.
Since I was about 11 or 12 I've had mood fluctuations, who doesn't at that age? But I lived in a household where my sister suffered from severe depression due to bullying and anorexia because at 7st people called her fat.
She got better, thankfully, though I don't remember much of that time, I don't remember anyone telling me she had depression or anorexia, I just guessed.. I stayed at the school my sister was bullied at while she dropped out and moved to a private school, she got better but when I was 17 she had a nasty breakup, now we have a very open household and I wandered into the bathroom while she was in the bath. The only thing I can describe is one of the photographs at Auschwitz, where the bodies lay there dead and emaciated but what lay in the bath was my living, breathing, skeletal sister, all I could smell was the overpowering smell of pear drops, also known as ketones, ketones are produced when your body starts digesting it's own fat because you have no nutrients coming in or left with you..
I won't lie, I started screaming at her, I don't cope the way my parents did by weedling her to eat, I just would scream and scream, one day I threatened if she didn't eat we'd play suffragettes and I'd force feed her..

22769 Back2Black HomeDress and Willow Maxi Skirt

I digress. Growing up in that situation probably screwed me over a little bit. Just under a year ago I started using the app "My Fitness Pal", I weighed myself obsessively, if I hadn't lost weight I'd not eat, I went from being a healthy 9st 10/11 to 8st 12, still a healthy weight but at my height (5tf 7) I looked terrible. Peter told me, my friends told me and my family told me.
Along with this I was having violent mood swings, honestly I don't remember much of this.. I ask Pete now and again what I was like and he tells me I was vile, unbearable and difficult.. I guess I must have been. He begged me to get help but wouldn't force me to go, he said if I needed help I had to go myself.

One day I finished work early and went through my university campus on the bus.. inside I was tearing myself apart, do I stay on the bus or do I get off and walk into the doctors?
I stayed on the bus..
The next day I walked into the doctors and broke down to a nurse who hurridly made me an appointment with the doctor. When the doctor asked me what made me come to get help I told her
"I got let out of placement early"

I was already on low dose tricyclic antidepressants for my migraines so she upped them to work as both migraine relief and anti-depressants, the first two weeks were murder, my moods flew off the handle but slowly I got better.
I was still trying to lose weight though.. then, when my housemates were out the house I was running from the shower to my room and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, dropping my towel I looked at myself and all I could think was
"WHERE the hell have my boobs gone?!"

22769 Valentines Store Hunt

Sadly, that was my turning point, not people's concerns, not the doctor, not my family nor the love of my life
My boobs, I had fried eggs where I once had some nice teacups
Peter, dog and I went on holiday to Cornwall for a week and I stopped using the app.
I did a traithlon in May.
In September I helped Pete get diagnosed with depression (work related) I supported him through finding the job of his dreams, moving 80 miles from me and now he is detoxing from his antidepressants. I'm still on mine and still have low moods but I feel so much better now.

22769 Zombie Popcorn Hunt Gift

The one thing I can say if you find yourself in this situation is seek help, don't go it alone, so many people care enough to see you get better.

Anyway.. credits for the pictures:

Pic 1
Jumper by 22769 @ Back2Black (150L)
MESH Skirt @ Willow (50L)
Hair @ lamb
Boots @ Decoy (285L)

Pic 2
Whole Outfit (inc shoes & tights) @ 22769 (Valentines Hunt)
Hair by Exile @ TDR - old item

Pic 3
Dress @ 22769 (Zombie Popcorn Hunt)
Hair by Exile @ TDR - old item
Socks @  a piece of candy (1L)
Shoes @ DECO (old FLF)

B/Saff xx